so can I just say since this is an online journal of sorts, i'm going to use it as such. be forewarned, this is a vent. Do not feel obligated to read it or respond, i just need to vent.
somewhere in life, i must have gotten greedy. and right now i think i am the most frustrated i've ever been in life. our house is not selling, it's not even being looked at. yet I have some sort of mental block that just will not let me feel comfortable lowering the price. part of me feels like the biggest idiot for not listening to my father who told us several months ago (whem we first brought up the idea of selling the house and moving to Denver to my parents) to "sell the house NOW!" the market was still hot, or at least warm, and stupid us, thinking it will sell in a few weeks so we shouldn't list it too early. well if i could, i would literally be kicking myself. if anyone wants to do it for me feel free. kick me and tell me what an idiot I am.
So I guess God is trying to teach me patience, trust in Him, and to not be greedy.
The "Analytical" in me (supposedly a strength - did we post about the strengths test we did at the RH retreat?) wants to figure it all out and have the perfect plan, make the most money and make it to CO fat and happy. The pessimist in me (which if you know me at all, you know this can make up pretty much of me at times) is thinking "why are we doing this again?" was there a point? Can we say Spiritual Warfare, people? And didn't we just have a sermon on both spiritual warfare and trusting in a loving God?
so there it is folks, my pity party. I must be stupid...aren't journals supposed to be private and locked and kept in a box under the bed where no one will ever read them? and here I am posting to the whole wide world all my thoughts and troubles...stay tuned kids, maybe next time i can post about how much better of a person I am for having gone thru this trial...
8 comments:
Not to be a burden in your life but you should capitalize the letters at the beginning of your sentences.
Jay, I'm sorry for my obnoxious husband. When you are venting it is perfectly acceptable to use all lower case (or even all capital) letters.
It's okay, it wasn't my post, it was Jenna's...
As you can see, we're on a rollercoaster ride of emotions about everything.
Our pastor this weekend spoke about "devine coincidences" and trying to know the will of God. When the idea came to us to sell the house and move to Colorado, that was exactly the circumstance. We had just prayed about it the day before, given our dilemna over to God and spent the day on a "sabbath". The very next day the Colorado idea smacked us in the face.
Then a series of "devine coincidences" began to occur that affirmed our decision, we weighed the pros and cons, and decided to go for it.
Doors have been opened one after the other for this move, except for the biggest one: the house selling.
We're both in this position where we're not really doubting God, but we are starting to wonder if part of His plan involves us having to go through some kind of trial in order to learn some major lesson. That's something I'd rather not know beforehand, and its not that fun in the middle of it. But we know enough to be confident that whatever happens the outcome will be for His good.
I can't speak for Jenna, but I'd rather things always go smoothly, even though I'd probably never grow in trust and patience that way. I'm perfectly comfortable in my impatience and mistrust, which is why this probably ain't going to go the way we'd prefer.
Anyway, that's my riff off of Jenna's rant. Check back in 6 months and hopefully we'll be waaay better people at that point.
I appologize. I forget that my humor doesn't always translate well. That's why I include my picture, to let you know that everything I say is in fun. I appreciate the struggle that you're going through. Every day I have little items that bug me about decisions I made or should've made. Like, why didn't I go to college right after high school? Rest assured that God is in charge. Be thankfull that he has made his way clear to you. And know that his timing isn't early, he waits until His time is ready.
Joshua, true, but at least with your written humor you do not have to see the strange look on my face as I try to figure out what you said/meant!
Jay, Life will continue to be hard, ALWAYS. We are not suppose to feel at home here, that is for heaven. I look forward to reading your post in six months about this experience.
Jenna, Mike and I sold our house for a pretty penny, moved, and spent about $24,000 of that pretty penny on living expenses for the last 8 months. Do you know how many pairs of shoes I could buy with that? Then we totaled our car taking up another chunk of that money. Apparently you need to sell your house and have income when you move to feel secure. You guys already have the income secure, you now have to work on the house thing. I wish I could buy it from you, but I would never pay tht much for a house (unless it was on several acres in Colorado).
Erin, don't call your husband obnoxious. We like him just the way he is!
Riffs and Rants...Man, this is getting fun over here on the Hoskinsons bliggity blog. You guys know how I feel as we've talked about most of it, but sitting on the other side is well worth the trial, and believe it or not, you will agree with me someday in the hopefully not too distant future.
Rachel, are you infering that I don't like my husband? I love that obnoxious man!
I wasn't inferring anything. But not that you mention it...
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